Here me out, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my kids and I wouldn't trade being a mommy for anything, but lately being at home all day every day with them is making me insane! I know if light of the recent tornadoes I shouldn't dare utter a word in complaint of my kids driving me nuts, my heartaches for them all, it really does. Buuut....all of that aside, I can't help but have moments that I want to just sit in a dark room in total silence.
Have you ever seen the movie Home Alone? You know the first seen where everyone is running around and it is utter chaos??? I feel like 80% of the time that is my 2 yr old...yes..Lena in herself is a 15 person chaos. The child WAKES up with more energy than a whole room of 1st graders.
I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom...painting the glamorous picture of a perfectly kept house, laundry always washed, folded and put away, home cooked elaborate meals, time to work out and take care of everything in the house. Awww...beautiful isn't it? Let me paint the REAL picture of a day in my house...The kids wake up before 7am. I try to decide which child to pick up first, generally opting for the potty training 2 yr old. I go into her room...(Great...her pull up leaked) so I take her to the potty, go back to her room and strip the sheets. Now Karson is real ticked in his room...but I need to take said wet laundry to the washing machine, get Lena new panties and clean up the mess. So I
Now that child 1 is taken care of, I go get child 2 up. Change him and then sit down to nurse him. Lena starts shrieking at me " I WANT ORANGE JUICE" over and over. I ask her nicely to wait as I am feeding brother...she continues to yell over and over until I get a sippy cup chunked at me. Alright this is how we are gonna play? FINE, NO orange juice for you until I decide to get up and get it.
Ok, now we are all settled. HAHA!! You see...I couldn't just quit my job of 5 years. I HAD to have a safety net. So in addition to my ever growing Mary Kay business (no complaining about that) I took on a work from home job. So in the midst of kids, I am trying to get work done. I edit resumes, I need to focus. Just when I think I have everyone settled...and can work...someone decides to get into something or fuss. So, I stop what I am doing and tend to them. I will get an hour of billable time in...only it took me from 8-12 to do it, lovely eh? My laundry is NEVER caught up, the house resembles the wreckage of a tornado (Lena can pull out more toys faster than anything I have seen) and I seem to be a week on week off type of cook. Showers are hard to come by, the minute I turn on the shower, someone wakes up. If I attempt to take one while they are awake, Lena either gets in with me, leaving a trail of clothes I have to clean up or plays in my room, generally getting into everything, again leaving me with something to clean up. why are we called Mom? Shouldn't the title really be MAID?
Before I know it, it have only gotten a couple of hours of work in and its time for dinner. I look around the house and wonder what the hell did I do all day!?!?! I PROMISE you, I got more done when I worked outside of the home. I could take bills that needing paying, paperwork that needed done, um...the magazine that needed reading and could do it at the office during a down time. There is NO down time here....
Last week I really felt like someone, somewhere ALWAYS needed something from me. Kids, friends, husband, work candidates, customers, contractors...etc. At one point I texted Kyle and said "If you come home and the kids are here, but I am not, check the lake (we have one in front of our house) I may have jumped in" He replied with "Bad day?"
Do I feel like this every day? NO! (Lena goes to Memaw's 2 days a week. I get a lot done those days!) But I was to the point by Sunday that if someone asked me one more question, I may have just cried. Matter of fact...I finally got some time to myself...I went to the grocery store ALONE Monday night. Nothing spells relaxing like a trip to the store alone, trying to figure out what I will feed everyone all week. On my way out the door, I looked around at the complete and utter mess and tears filled my eyes. I am HOME ALL DAY LONG...why is my house a total disaster????? Am I failing at the WFHM thing? probably so....
I have recently been taking time out for me. I have met some great girls that like to
Is it normal for Mommy to want a time out??? How do I accomplish such a thing?? I would love nothing more than to go get a pedicure and/or a massage. My feet are so rough, I think I could sand a 2x4 (too much info? sorry), but the techs are always so sweet and always want to talk. Me no want to talk, me want to sip wine and close my eyes! A massage is out because everyone I have ever had, they wanted to talk the whole time too and I don't want anyone to touch my gooshy parts. A friend recently said she goes into her room, puts a pillow over her ears and just lays there for 15 mins. Awww...sounds like heaven! Except for THEY. ALWAYS. FIND. YOU.
Whew...just typing that out makes me feel a little better. Could that time have been work hours? Laundry folded? kitchen cleaned? yes, yes and yes. BUT, I needed a TIME OUT. (and before I could hit publish K was awake...30 mins of solitude will just have to do)