I am NOT a Runner

It goes without saying, I feel like everyone I know is a runner. People LOVE to run! Well, here I am to burst the bubble. I am not a runner.  I have decided to come up with the Top 10 Reasons I am not a runner. (In no particular order)

1.  I do not get a "runner's high".
     Allegedly, there is this "high" that runners experience and their mind frees and they feel no pain. Nope. Sure don't.   Here is what I think/feel as I run.  Pain.  The pain isn't immediate, its more like with 1.5 minutes, maybe more, maybe less.  Within a short period of time the pain starts. The pain is not in my knees or hips...but my FEET.  From my ankles down through my feet and before I know it, I have this painful tingling sensation in my feet.  I have tried so many kinds of shoes. I pay WAY TOO much money for running shoes and not one pair has been the exception.  I have "pushed" through this pain in hopes that I will become the runner I have always wanted to be...but by the end my ankles and feet have locked up and once I stop they become almost impossible to move.  Any suggestions? I wish I got that runners "high"...it would be way more pleasant than the dead feet.

2. My form is terrible.
    Since my form is terrible...that is probably why my feet hurt. I am sure its something to see...this 6 footer with way too much sweater meat running.  Hence, I do not run.  I will run, then I see a car coming and I stop.  Heaven forbid someone see this sight and make fun of me, to themselves in their car. I was compared to a chicken while I ran.  I was 10...I haven't forgotten. I am scarred.  Something about my form also makes me sound like a Clydesdale horse clomping down the side walk. 

3. My Thighs touch.
    When I run, my thighs touch. I have a fear the friction of my pants rubbing together will start a fire.  (ok, I know that wont happen, but it is still a scary thought) 

4. Sweater Meat.
     What's Sweater Meat you ask?  Boobs. Classy, huh? Boobs on a blog. But it's the cold hard truth. I have entirely too much sweater meat. I have to wear like 3 bras if I am going to go running. That is, unless I want a black eye and back pain.  Although, a black eye would be a good story. I would come up with some totally BA story about how I was in a bar fight with a biker chick. What? You can't see me holding my own against some Bikers "Ol' Lady".  Man, y'all have no confidence in me ;)

5. Smoker's Cough.
    I feel like I have smoked 10 packs of cigs when I run.  I know, in through your nose, out through your mouth.  But listen, when I am running and I am desperately just trying to keep in motion I am breathing a 1000 lb man rushing to get the chocolate cake before it goes in the trash. Not pretty.  Nothing else makes me breath like this...not elliptical, stair-mill, aerobics, dancing...nothing. Its painful...like my lungs are being stabbed. My heart won't even be racing, yet my lungs feel like knives are taking up residence.

6. Fear of treadmills.
    You can't run outside year round. Well, you can. But I am not one of those crazy people who gets all jazzed about running outside when its cold or 195 degrees out.  I am terrified of running on a treadmill, for many reasons.  One, again...my form and the fact that I sound like a Clydesdale. But more importantly, I don't want to lose my balance and go flying off the back. In my own home, fine. In a gym...I die.  I would be that person that as I am falling would shout naughty 4 letters words. Everyone would look at me and I would have to leave never to return. No thanks.

7. People break things/injuries.
    I know LOTS of people who have broken bones while running or ended up with gnarly injuries. Their run cost them extensive medical bills...um. nope.   If I am gonna break some thing or tear something...I need a dang good reason for it. Running for my health and in turn getting hurt seems counter productive. Not to mention I could come up with a million other things to spend money on before medical bills.

8. Boring.
    I honestly get bored while I run. Even with music cranking. Running doesn't keep my attention for very long. Probably why I enjoy circuit cardio/strength work outs.  How on Earth did Forrest Gump just keep running? Snoooooozer

9. I don't know how to pace myself.
    This probably ties in with #8.  I just like to get started really fast and get it done. More bang for your buck right? If I slow down I look like one of those people who run like they are a DVD on slow motion. How do they call that running? I walk faster than that...maybe they were prancing?

10. Runners still have bad health.
I know plenty of runners who still fall over in cardiac arrest, have high BP and are overweight. I thought this whole "yogging" phenomenon was supposed to make you healthy? If you still have these health issues...why subject yourself to the torture? (ok, I know its not torture for everyone. But it sure is for me).

I am open to suggestions. Unless your suggestion is something profound like 'just stick with it'.  I have tried that and even in my peak of fitness running was HARD and PAINFUL for me.  

On another note- I have FINALLY hit the 20 pounds down mark!  I am losing weight in important areas,  you know...fingers, elbows and ankles.   One day my stomach will get the memo and shrink.  I have 30 ish more pounds until I am at goal. Whew...I better get on it!  

It's been awhile...

Perhaps I suck at blogging and losing weight...it's taken me forever to do both!

I have been so busy with my groundhog day life, that blogging seems to be the first thing to slide. Let's face it, I have important things to do, like play bingo on my phone raise 2 active babies!

But, back to the matter at hand.  I started this as a way to document my weight loss, perhaps throw a little humor (I need to work on both obviously) out into the world.  I will admit, I did a cleanse and lost a bunch right away, however I seemed to slide back into my icky habits of the yummy food cravings and gained all but 3 of it back.  So, in August I knew I had to get busy. I made sure to workout more and be a little more active and I have been tracking calories like a hawk!  The calorie counting is really helping and I am down a total of 13 lbs. now!!!!!!  I know, 13 is still a looooong way away from my 50 lb. goal, but is a start.  I am FINALLY able to wear pairs of pants that haven't fit me since before Karson was cookin'! Nothing makes me happier than putting on a pair of pants and not having a camel toe! TMI?!?! Ladies, you know what I mean, admit it!
  I have a tiny confession, working out still seems to be a struggle. With that being said, if I actually stick with a workout longer than a week or two, I will start seeing more results (at least I better...I am not one to work out just because...I want some results, dang it!).  Anywho...blogging about my boring weight loss is, well, BORING!  No one REALLY cares if I lose weight.  Ok, maybe my husband does...not because he is a giant a-hole or anything, but because he is tired of listening to be whine about being bigger than I want to be and because he KNOWS that I have taken over half of the closet up with clothes that don't fit.  What's that Kyle, you didn't know most of those clothes do not fit me? OOPS...ya do now! I PROMISE as soon as I lose some more weight to go through my half 3/4 of the closet and get rid of some of that crap (or hide it in boxes in the garage).

Something that has helped tremendously is our NO Spend September.  We made the month of No spend a success by meal planning weekly and making fresh, from scratch foods. We were not tempted to eat out and therefore there was less of a chance of me binge eating crap. You can't eat what you do not have in the house!  Is it really that difficult to plan a weekly menu and shop accordingly, NO! Does the cleaning up after cooking every night suck? YES! 

On another note...for the 2 of you who read my blog, remember that day I needed a TIME OUT? Pretty sure I still need one! I kid, I kid.  I still have good days and bad days of being a WAHM. Karson is now super mobile (like could be walking at any time mobile) and Lena has the attitude of a 14 year old girl. I swear...why do 3 year old have so much attitude????  But, I have enrolled Lena in Dance and a weekly "Lunch Bunch" Tumble class. I am PRAYING it helps her get some energy out and make her start following directions. 

Welp, blogging time is over. Karson is awake and I can't complete a decent thought with him crawling up my legs under the table. I promise to come back more frequently and with more stimulating content! Maybe I will even throw some photos in the mix...

Off to track some calories, because let's face it, it's snack time in this house!

Biggest Loser

Sounds like an insult, right? Ok, so I am not a big loser...but I am trying to win a current Biggest Loser competition. Some girlfriends and I (you know the ones that I like to drink craft with and cackle like old hens at Applebee's) decided to do a friendly biggest loser competition. All of us (but one who doesn't need to lose an ounce, she just wanted to be healthy) have baby weight to lose.  The stakes aren't very high, but yet they truly are high. Winner gets a pedicure paid for by the others, but also wins a new smokin' hot body and a HEALTHY life. Pretty dang important. 

Anywho,  I started trying to lose weight a few months back. At first I was doing really well, then Birthdays, Anniversary, Easter, Mother's day, Memorial Day all came along and the food tasted SOOOO good. Once I start, its like I can't make myself quit. My one cheat day turned into a week of having a "treat" every night (CURSE YOU SONIC AND YOUR DANG 1/2 PRICE SHAKES).
Every. single. time. the Girls and I got together, we complained about baby weight (as we shoveled forks full of sopapilla cheesecake in our mouths) so here we are doing something about it!

We are on day 3. Every time I want something bad for me to eat...I just look at my gnarly gut and all the sudden I am not hungry! I am also loving the support we are giving each other via text, fb chat and just good ol' fashion bantering. This lovely motivating contest will run for 6 weeks to start...all of us with different goals. Some big, some small. Mine is an XL goal!  I sure hope it doesn't take me a year to lost the 50 ish pounds I want to lose! (I must be super excited, my exclamation points are a little out of control)

One of the girls used an awesome analogy, She said, " I need to lose the equivalent of 1.5 of my baby." Well, when you put it THAT way, I need to lose the equivalent of BOTH my kids. Who's the chunky monkey now? That's right, ME!!! 

I am perfectly happy trying to blame my loud, time consuming sweet innocent children for my being bigger than I need to be, but the reality is that my lack of self-control keeps me this way.  I am so happy my husband is behind me on this and making an effort to be healthy too. We have joined a gym and are making smarter eating choices! 

I have no one to blame but myself really. But here is to making a change and having super supporting girlfriends to go through this battle together!

Now, if you will excuse me... I HAVE A WHOLE DRAWER OF SPOONS TO THROW OUT!!!

Mommy Needs a TIME OUT!!!

Do you ever have days as a Mom that make you want to scream loudly "I NEED A TIME OUT"???

Here me out, I LOVE LOVE LOVE my kids and I wouldn't trade being a mommy for anything, but lately being at home all day every day with them is making me insane! I know if light of the recent tornadoes I shouldn't dare utter a word in complaint of my kids driving me nuts, my heartaches for them all, it really does. Buuut....all of that aside, I can't help but have moments that I want to just sit in a dark room in total silence.

Have you ever seen the movie Home Alone? You know the first seen where everyone is running around and it is utter chaos??? I feel like 80% of the time that is my 2 yr old...yes..Lena in herself is a 15 person chaos.  The child WAKES up with more energy than a whole room of 1st graders.

I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom...painting the glamorous picture of a perfectly kept house, laundry always washed, folded and put away, home cooked elaborate meals, time to work out and take care of everything in the house. Awww...beautiful isn't it?  Let me paint the REAL picture of a day in my house...The kids wake up before 7am. I try to decide which child to pick up first, generally opting for the potty training 2 yr old. I go into her room...(Great...her pull up leaked) so I take her to the potty, go back to her room and strip the sheets. Now Karson is real ticked in his room...but I need to take said wet laundry to the washing machine, get Lena new panties and clean up the mess. So I politely yell at Lena to HURRY UP...she gets done and makes a mess with the water..UGH!
Now that child 1 is taken care of, I go get child 2 up. Change him and then sit down to nurse him. Lena starts shrieking at me " I WANT ORANGE JUICE" over and over. I ask her nicely to wait as I am feeding brother...she continues to yell over and over until I get a sippy cup chunked at me. Alright this is how we are gonna play? FINE, NO orange juice for you until I decide to get up and get it.

Ok, now we are all settled. HAHA!! You see...I couldn't just quit my job of 5 years. I HAD to have a safety net. So in addition to my ever growing Mary Kay business (no complaining about that) I took on a work from home job. So in the midst of kids, I am trying to get work done. I edit resumes, I need to focus. Just when I think I have everyone settled...and can work...someone decides to get into something or fuss. So, I stop what I am doing and tend to them. I will get an hour of billable time in...only it took me from 8-12 to do it, lovely eh?  My laundry is NEVER caught up, the house resembles the wreckage of a tornado (Lena can pull out more toys faster than anything I have seen) and I seem to be a week on week off type of cook. Showers are hard to come by, the minute I turn on the shower, someone wakes up. If I attempt to take one while they are awake, Lena either gets in with me, leaving a trail of clothes I have to clean up or plays in my room, generally getting into everything, again leaving me with something to clean up. why are we called Mom? Shouldn't the title really be MAID?

Before I know it, it have only gotten a couple of hours of work in and its time for dinner. I look around the house and wonder what the hell did I do all day!?!?! I PROMISE you, I got more done when I worked outside of the home. I could take bills that needing paying, paperwork that needed done, um...the magazine that needed reading and could do it at the office during a down time. There is NO down time here....
Last week I really felt like someone, somewhere ALWAYS needed something from me. Kids, friends, husband, work candidates, customers, contractors...etc. At one point I texted Kyle and said "If you come home and the kids are here, but I am not, check the lake (we have one in front of our house) I may have jumped in" He replied with "Bad day?"
Do I feel like this every day? NO! (Lena goes to Memaw's 2 days a week. I get a lot done those days!) But I was to the point by Sunday that if someone asked me one more question, I may have just cried. Matter of fact...I finally got some time to myself...I went to the grocery store ALONE Monday night. Nothing spells relaxing like a trip to the store alone, trying to figure out what I will feed everyone all week.  On my way out the door, I looked around at the complete and utter mess and tears filled my eyes. I am HOME ALL DAY LONG...why is my house a total disaster?????  Am I failing at the WFHM thing?  probably so....

I have recently been taking time out for me. I have met some great girls that like to drink  craft and we have more fun just laughing like a bunch of old hens (think middle aged and at Applebee's on a Wed. night, we are the epitome of cool!) The only bad thing about leaving, is I come back to a bigger mess. Then I wonder, was it worth it to go out if I have to clean up twice as much?

Is it normal for Mommy to want a time out??? How do I accomplish such a thing?? I would love nothing more than to go get a pedicure and/or a massage. My feet are so rough, I think I could sand a 2x4 (too much info? sorry), but the techs are always so sweet and always want to talk. Me no want to talk, me want to sip wine and close my eyes! A massage is out because everyone I have ever had, they wanted to talk the whole time too and I don't want anyone to touch my gooshy parts.  A friend recently said she goes into her room, puts a pillow over her ears and just lays there for 15 mins. Awww...sounds like heaven!  Except for THEY. ALWAYS. FIND. YOU.

Whew...just typing that out makes me feel a little better. Could that time have been work hours? Laundry folded? kitchen cleaned? yes, yes and yes. BUT, I needed a TIME OUT.  (and before I could hit publish K was awake...30 mins of solitude will just have to do)

KICKING AN ADDICTION!?!?

Well, I completed my 8 day cleanse! The results were stellar...9 pounds down and 12 inches lost all over my body! During this cleanse I only drank water ( A LOT OF WATER) and my protein shakes when it was the appropriate time. Now, starting this, I thought how am I going to go without my morning coffee !?!?!?  Friends, I am here to tell you I DID NOT MISS MY CUP OF JOE.  I wasn't just a one cup gal, I often times would drink 2-3 LARGE cups of coffee (although I recently had switched to decaf). I also had a craving several times a week for a Diet Dr. Pepper.  So, here I am close to 2 weeks later and I have not had anything to drink but water. (ok last night for my Anniversary, I did have some Almond Sparkling Wine..but it didn't "hit the spot").  So, I feel proud that I may be weaning myself off the coffee addiction.. Not that there is anything wrong with a cup of coffee, I just drank too much and my pearly whites were starting to reap the effects.  I also have NO desire to drink a soda. Now...I know soda is bad for you, but we all love the crisp bubbles on a hot day!

Back to the cleanse...I went into it nervous, yet hopeful. Could this be the kick start I needed? Yes, I believe it is just what I needed. You see, I just wanted to lose some weight. I feel good most days, right!?!? WRONG. I guess I had just gotten so used to being sluggish all day and living with a fog in my head. Since I have finished the cleanse, I feel amazing! It is like this FOG has lifted out of my head and I have so much energy!  For the last 5 years its almost like I was not the person I recognized. Horribly anti-social, tired, tended to be negative and just getting through the day. The XYNGULAR products have made me feel like my old self again! I am happy to see people, I want to see people and I can focus on my daily tasks! I know I have made a lot of life changes lately which have helped, but the tired sluggish feeling is gone! I am guessing there was a nutrient I have been deficient on for years and by adding the XYNGULAR Products it is assisting. I am so excited about this, I have started my sweet husband on some of the products...and if I had it my way my whole family would be on them!

Since I have completed the cleanse I haven't lost anything additional scale wise...but clothes are starting to fit better. Those are victories friends!

Oh yeah...We were talking about addictions... aside from Coffee, I would have to say sweets were my addiction. To be honest, if a waiter came to the table and said "you can have filet mignon  for dinner or Chocolate Cake, but not both" I WOULD ALWAYS CHOOSE THE CAKE! I LOVE dessert. My gut is living proof!  There aren't many desserts I am not a fan of (ok, maybe jello or banana flavored desserts). Having Chocolate in the house is dangerous. I will admit, I indulged on some treats after the cleanse was over (used cheat) but they just didn't taste the same! I would eat it and ok, it tasted good still...but I didn't feel good after eating it.  It didn't taste "worth it" to me. How incredible would it be to not crave sugary sweet crap all the time!?!?! THAT ALONE IS A VICTORY!

So as a check list aside from my inches and pounds lost, here are my benefits so far from XYNGULAR:
1) Not craving sweet foods or sodas and coffee
2) Not struggling to focus on work
3) sleeping so much better
4) Able to wake up without feeling like I didn't sleep
5) No more joint pain! (this includes my back...which is fused and hurts used to hurt all the time)
6)VISION IMPROVEMENTS! (I have been thinking for months I needed to go get glasses. Not anymore!)
7) ENERGY!!!!
8) More patience with my family
9) Much more social
10) I FEEL HAPPY!!!!!!! :)
(I also have not had heartburn, and I am a prescription medicine the heartburn is so bad person..haven't taken my meds in a week and I have had NO heartburn...WHOOP!)

HOLY COW!!!!! I am so excited to see what else it can do for me and my family.  As soon as my Xypstix are in...Lena is getting some! She will love it and I think it will help with her allergies and maybe help her mellow out (wishful thinking???)

I originally ordered and was going to do it for a month and be done...now I feel so great, I want to keep going. I have decided to be a distributor as I want to help other people feel good inside as well as out! I mean...with my Mary Kay business covering outward appearance and this helping someone feel healthy...I am a one stop shop..lol!
If you are interested in the products and what the buzz is all about, I am happy to help. I am telling you...I FEEL AMAZING!
www.xyngular.com/lzinkkoiner

With that being said....I have a 2 yr old that is potty training and I need to start our grilled chicken and veggie lunch! YUMMERS! Maybe next time I will have something clever to say...

New Title- New Focus

So, it has been ages since I have even logged into this blog. Clearly the header picture is way outdated and as soon as I figure out how to change it...I WILL (hint, hint sis...I NEED help). I have decided to blog about my journey to lose the FAT ROLLS! After 2 kids and being happily married I have a body that is unrecognizable to me...something HAS to change! This isn't going to be easy for me to document, but maybe just by shear embarrassment I will find the strength to lose it all...

SO, let's get this party started.. My up and down battle with weight began as early as I can remember. I was always a skinny child, I would hear "you need to put some meat on your bones" over and over. About 4th grade, the bullying by the neighborhood kids started to take its toll and I found solace in food. I didn't go out to play as much, because when I did I was treated terrible by the kids and it wasn't much better at school. Bullying has been going on since the 80's friends...I would come home from elementary school crying from things kids said to me. I eventually put on too much weight for an elementary school kid. This resulted in even more tormenting. There were many, many times I was called "fatty" or worse yet, this particular boy in the class below me would MOO at me. That's right, he would MOO at me like I was a cow. It was devastating and nearly 20 yrs ago (Goodness I am old!) yet, I remember it plain as day. I can remember the day I RAN home from After School Activities because during 'hide and seek' he was "mooing" to try and find me. I left and ran home bawling. (side note, I ran into the jerk years later after high school and in a drunken stupor told him I hated him for it, he didn't even REMEMBER doing it...yet it scared me permanently). I always wanted to be a stellar athlete and I tried, GOD knows I tried. BUT, a friends MOM once made fun of how I ran. This particular comment stuck with me and TO. THIS. DAY. I am terrified of running in front of people. Between that mom and the kids that made fun of me at Basketball during middle school days, I ended up being too scared to every even try out for Sports teams in high school. The emotional damage had been done. I spent my high school days being "bigger" than most of my friends and that too took a toll on me. High School was NOT fun for me...there, I said it. I HATED high school. I went to a different smaller college, simply because I couldn't wait to get away from people who had made me feel like I was less than worthy.
  So, I get to college and I lose weight! I am not the typical college student that gained weight in college, I lost it! I was HAPPY. People didn't know me and I felt comfortable participating in activities. I was so active in college, I couldn't keep everything straight of where I needed to be daily! I was on the Danceline and in theatre. All things I would never try in HS because I knew everyone would just make fun of me...my confidence was returning. My Sophomore year of college I met Mike. Mike played division 1 Football and was a big muscular dude...I gained some weight with him, but since he was athletic we worked out together and I was at a comfortable weight. Just before I met Mike, I weighed 150 ( I am 6ft tall)which was probably too skinny. He and I broke up after College and I moved to Georgia. Started gaining weight and kicked my butt at the gym to lose it. I eventually moved to Missouri in 2006 and I was in the best shape! Spent lots of hours at the gym and was comfortable with myself. I had GREAT friends and enjoyed my time. I maintained a steady weight of 167. I was very lean and in shape.
  In the Summer of 2008, I moved to Dallas for my job. I HATED my job. I had a very hard time making new friends (most the people I met were on a level of party I didn't want to be around, plates of drugs just sitting around). Insert my love for a good cold beer and chips and salsa and out of NO WHERE I weighed 186. I Met Kyle and we spent a lot of our dates going out to dinner! That boy knew how to feed me. I was HAPPY. I also was gaining weight. Then, I became pregnant with Lena. I gained close to 50 lbs...topping the scale at 228!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMGEEEEEEEEEEEE! I had Lena and nursed her. Anyone who says the lbs fall off nursing, good for you. They sure don't for me! When Lena was 3 months old, I still weighed 206. I didn't want to be in pictures with my sweet baby because I hated how big I was...I knew I had to do something. I started Weight Watchers and the pounds fell off. I was back down to 185 and content. I stopped WW and it started creeping back on...need I mention again...Kyle LOVES to eat and I go right along with him. My lucky hubby doesn't gain weight like I do...JERK :) Before I knew it, I gained back all my WW lost weight. I started to lose it again and BAM...I am pregnant with Karson! This time I knew to be better about what I ate and didn't gain near as much. I am however a stress eater and since I HATED my job, I gained weight when I went back to work after having Karson. I KNEW I had to get in under control fast...so here I am today!
A few friends of mine have been posting their successes. After a lot of thought I am diving in too! I started an 8 day cleanse on the 20th of April. I am almost done with it and so far am down 7 POUNDS!!!! I want to get back into my clothes and get back into shape. I want to be that mom that runs around with her kids, takes them to the pool and isn't afraid of being in pictures with them! I know it is going to be a long journey, but it will be worth it! Oh, I guess I will share the numbers...(EEEK)no judging: I started my cleanse at a whopping 212 lbs. Today I am down to 205 lbs. I have still never been bigger than a Size 14, as being so tall I have lots of places to put it! More than anything, I want to feel sexy for my husband. He didn't marry a tub of lard. Our Anniversary is next week...3 years of wedded bliss and I want to feel good for him. I don't want to be that person that "lets herself go". I don't want to hold my breath every time he wraps his arms around me because I know he is feeling my fat rolls and probably grossing him out! So here I go...Let it be known, I have to force myself to workout. After I do workout, I feel great, it is just making myself do it that I struggle.. I am pledging to "un-roll" myself and regain some bombshell status! Who is with ME!?!?!?!?